Ask Sally #20 Finding an online writing community

I've heard of lots of writers communities on the web. I'm not sure whether I dare put my scribblings on the internet where anyone might read them and tear them apart, but I would like to discuss writing with other people who share my obsession (because, let's face it, my husband doesn't!) Can you recommend the best writing sites?

Writing can be a very lonely business, so I completely understand where you're coming from. Family who might be interested at first soon become bored, because, God love them, they just don't understand that compulsion to write. It sometimes seems to me that there are as many writing communities online as there are writers (but I've already established, I think, that I believe there are only 12 writers online, and the other three zillion are alter-egos!) and it can be daunting to find one that suits you. Pick the wrong one to begin with and it could put you off writing forums for life. Here are a few that I know of. They're in no particular order of preference.

Absolute Write Water Cooler This is a very lively and opinionated community, mostly America based, but with lots of information for writers. Their Bewares and Background Checks forum is particularly good. You can browse without joining, to get an idea of whether you think it's the right place for you.

Write Words There is a fee for joining Write Words, but it has a lot of professional authors amongst its members, which means there's lots of good advice to be had. I've never been a member, but I gather it's a good community.

Speculations This is a vast community, with no real central forum, but has lots of writers with their own pages, interlinking with each other. Of particular use to those interested in speculative fiction.

Writers Dock Owned by Sonny Manou, Writers Dock is a huge free to join community, many of whom came from the old Get Writing forums. It's very busy. They do have closed critique groups for if you do want to try out your work and Sonny often gets in well-known authors for question and answer sessions. I know a lot of the moderators there, having been one myself for a while, and they're a good bunch who work very hard behind the scenes.

Critters Bar A closed writing community under the watchful eye of Rob, ex-East of the Web member. I don't know much about this group, but Rob is a nice guy and the group has been going for quite some time now, so looks to be one that's going to stay around.

UK Authors Another fee paying community, under the watchful eye of Andrea. Has a space for showcasing work (but be aware this is public so work posted there might be construed as 'published' for other purposes). I don't know the forum very well, but I know a lot of the people over there, and they're a nice bunch.

Bibliophilia A very new, free to join, community. Many of its members are from the old Bewrite forum, so know each other very well, but they are welcoming to newcomers. Members can also join the many site and post their work for critique.

Cafe Doom A small community, dedicated mainly to dark fiction. Ed, who runs it, is a great guy and has regular competitions, which he funds out of his own pocket.

Graveside Tales This one is fairly new to me, but I've been made very welcome. Like Cafe Doom, the emphasis is on dark fiction.

That's as many as I can find on my favourites list and via other sites at the moment. There are literally thousands of forums out there. I have to warn you that some of them (not those I've linked to) are very iffy and best avoided. There are also thousands of tiny writing groups online who open their doors to only a few members.

Here's a bit of advice about joining an online writing forum:

Avoid paying more than is reasonable. Some writing forums are just fronts for a larger organisation trying to sell you writing products, such as courses and books. Beware those. Also beware those that charge silly amounts of money every month for supposed 'expert' teaching. There's no need to pay for writing services that are available free elsewhere. There's nothing wrong with paying a nominal fee, say £5-£20 a year for a forum that's genuinely going to help you. That cost usually (but not always) keeps the timewasters out. However, there's really no need to pay anything as there are a lot of good, free forums out there.

Avoid getting dragged into feuds. Even the best run writing forums have their trolls and their troublemakers. There are sometimes arguments and tensions that go back years. Your reasoned, intelligent presence is going to make absolutely no difference, so avoid getting dragged into these arguments. They're time consuming and nothing to do with writing, even if that's what the troll/troublemaker is claiming. And if that doesn't convince you...

Remember that everything is searchable. This may not apply to you now, or ever, but it's wise to remember that everything is searchable online nowadays. So if you do get dragged into an argument online and lose your temper, then ten years down the line get the big success you dream of, people will google your name and everything you ever said will be read, repeated, regurgitated and used as evidence against you. If you don't believe me, consider the recent Booker winner Anne Allbright. A few days after her win was announced, someone turned up an article she'd written in which she made negative comments about the McCann family. One trick is to never use your real or pen-name on forums. Pick something else. I sure wish I'd thought of that when I first started out.

Don't post your work if you can't take an honest or useless critique. I know you said you didn't want to post your work online, but this is just in case you change your mind. It's fair to say that some writers only want to be told their work is wonderful. Even the kindest, most helpful critique can turn into an ugly row when someone dares tell a writer that their spelling needs improvement or that they've changed point of view half way through a paragraph. If you don't think you can take this, then don't put your work online. On the other hand, some critiques can be totally useless. Beware the person who tells you to write your story as they would have written it, or who only says bad things. A good critique should be a mixture of positives and negatives. The trick is to start with a positive, point out a negative (avoid pointing out too many!), then end with a positive. I've also seen cases where a critique was based solely on the fact that the critter hated the writer's guts. If you find a story that's so bad that you can't say anything good about it, then say nothing. And remember that it was only your opinion anyway.

Don't post work for critique then not bother to critique anyone else's. This annoys a lot of people on writing forums. The person who joins, posts up their own work for critique then never reads anyone else's work. If you feel you don't have time for reciprocal critiquing, then don't post your work. I seldom post my work on open writing forums because I know I don't have time to look at everyone else's. I'm lucky in that I'm in a relatively small group where we all reciprocate, but don't flood the board with stories. Admittedly you can't possible critique everything that's posted on a writing forum, but you should be seen to be pulling your weight a bit if you're going to be taking advantage of critiques for your own stories.

Don't flood the forum with stories. I know how exciting it can be when you first find like-minded writers, and someone to share your work with, but it really is bad form to post a bunch of stories all at once. Only post one at a time, wait till it's been critiqued, reciprocate, then post another one of your own.

If you find the forum is taking up too much time, step back. This is probably the hardest advice to take, especially if you've made some good friends and enjoy your time on the forum, but if most of the writing you do nowadays is answering posts on a writing forum, then maybe it's time to step back. I've had to do this a couple of times. Remember why you joined in the first place. You don't need to leave. Just ration the amount of time you spend on there.

If anyone knows of other, good, writing communities, please leave a message on the comments.