Ask Sally #25 Romance v Erotica v Pornography

Note: This question was first asked on the Cafe Doom forum and further discussed on Jon P's Blog here, and I have the asker's permission to reproduce it here.

Warning: The following discussion includes content that some
people might find offensive.

I want to submit a story for an anthology, but they have stipulated 'No hardcore erotic content'. My question is, what qualifies as "hardcore erotic content?" My story does have sexual content, but nothing that would make a porn star blush. So where is the line between sexual (but permissive) and hard core smut? I mean, I know when it's REALLY raunchy but how do I know if I've strayed too far into the grey area?

This is a question that those of us who write erotica struggle with all the time. When does romantic sex become erotica and when does erotica become porn? And as you've realised, there are grey areas.

These are quick definitions of what I believe the differences are between romance, erotica and pornography, though some may argue there is no difference, depending on their attitudes to sex. (Amusingly I've known writers who get quite snotty about those of us who write erotica or pornography, yet the same writers are quite happy to include scenes of their MCs doing odd things to themselves with household objects, abusing schoolboys/girls or performing party tricks with their genitalia. 'Well, it's literature, dahling.')

Romance - Writing about romantic sex very rarely involves sexual swearwords or explicit description of what happens. There's a lot of euphamisms for the sexual act and/or genitalia. And usually a romance story will be about more than just the sex. Their emotions will be heightened. The sex will (usually) be a reward for the couple having gone through some obstacles to have their relationship. Love will be the overriding factor in the love-making. Sex doesn't necessarily take place behind closed doors, but it's assumed that most readers will know what goes where without being told.

Erotica - Erotica is often much stronger than romantic sex. More direct language might be used, but there will also be a storyline, however tenuous. Erotica also tends to have the man and woman on equal footing, so to speak. The sex is always consensual, even when 'playing' at submission or domination. Most erotica imprints, like Xcite Books, won't accept scenes of rape, even if it's 'play' rape, and they won't accept scenes of underage sex, bestiality or anything that involves coprophilia (You'll have to look it up!) or waterplay. It will be made clear that both man and woman are happy with the situation. Erotica also tends to have a more emotional core than pornography, even if the people involved are only meeting for casual sex. It might involve group sex, though mostly that will be lesbian sex. The woman is nearly always the one in control and it will be made clear she can stop the proceedings at any time she wants. The emphasis is on pleasure.

(On the other hand, a lot of Mills & Boon type novels have very explicit sex scenes nowadays that tip over into erotica, but there is also a strong storyline in the background.)

Pornography - Pornography is far more direct, in its use of obscene language and in the fact that the only reason the story exists is to depict sex between two people (or several people...) Love doesn't play any part in the proceedings, and people might not even like each other. The sexual acts depicted will be much more extreme, and may include play or non-consensual rape. There might be more mention of bodily fluids (one of the biggest turn offs for me in any story, and it's amazing how many 'literary' stories rely on them to add 'grittiness'!), which won't always end up where they're intended to be, coprophilia, waterplay, bestiality and other acts of extreme degredation. It won't always matter if the act isn't pleasurable for one of the participants.

One of the most difficult things about deciding if you've written erotica or porn is that attitudes change. When, as a teenager, I used to read Mills & Boon books the heroine nearly was always a virgin when she married, or the man was the first man she'd ever slept with. All sex was left at the bedroom door, with maybe the occasional mention of a 'creamy breast' poking out from under the covers. The man's genitalia was never mentioned, or if it was, it was his 'manhood'. A couple of years ago I read a few M&B books in the hopes of writing for them. Boy did my eyes get opened. The sex scenes, though tasteful, were far more explicit, and some even used the word 'c**k' to describe the man's genitalia. I needed the smelling salts that day, I can tell you ;-) Attitudes to sex are much less restrained nowadays, but there are still people (including me, the most repressed erotic fiction writer in the world) who can be shocked by mention of certain sexual acts or words.

My answer to the original question would be that much depends on the language you use. Are your characters f***ing or are they making love? Remember that Bridget Jones, our newest romantic heroine, is quite fond of sha**ing, yet Helen Fielding's novels aren't considered obscene. Of course, much depends on the context. If you're writing a noir thriller or horror story you're not suddenly going to slip into the language of romance, and if you're writing romance, you're not going to suddenly have your characters doing strange things with goats. Everything has to be relevant to what's gone before.

The interesting thing is that when I'm writing my 'straight' stories, I can seldom find a good reason to include a sex scene, and when I've written romance (which I haven't done for a long time) I've found it really hard to get my characters to a point where they can fall into bed (a lot of the time I just had them do it in the back of a car, which is not very M&B, is it?)

So it might be worth asking, if you're writing a story for a genre publication and not an erotica imprint, whether the sex is absolutely necessary. Can the story exist without the sex scene? What does the sex scene add to the plot? Does it fit with the tone of the rest of the piece? Are you any good at writing sex? Not everyone is, and it's something that even the best writers struggle with, hence the totally wonderful Bad Sex Awards.

Other than that, I'd say send your story off and see what they say. If they like the story, but not the sex scene, they may be happy for you to edit it out.

You can read more of this discussion at Cafe Doom, including, what followed, a very levelled and sensible discussion on writing in general.

You might also find Captain Black's set of tips, called The Squidgy Bits, quite helpful.