Ask Sally #33 - dialogue and italics
A question from Kitty.
I'm writing a story where one character reads aloud from a list while others comment. The list reading bit looked a bit messy with double and single quotation marks (also on Office Word, it's tricky to get the single quotation marks facing the right way) so I've put the stuff she's reading aloud in italics - but I'm sure I've read somewhere that editors don't like italics. What would you do?
First of all, I don't think I've ever heard that editors don't like italics. However, I do think that, as with any technique used in writing, italics need to be used sparingly, otherwise they become meaningless. Also, using italics for emphasis can sometimes look as if the writer isn't trusting the words to work for them. As a beginner I used lots of italics, but I do tend to avoid them unless absolutely necessary now.
With regard to your query, and without having seen what you've written, I don't think you need either italics or quotes for someone reading aloud from a list. I would only use quotes within dialogue if I had a character repeating what someone else had said.
You can easily get around the problem by introducing the idea of the list. This is a rough example of how I'd do it.
Sherry read from the list of possible holiday destinations.
"Turkey? It's nice and hot there this time of year. What do you think?" She looked at her group of friends as they sat huddled around the fire.
"I went there last year," said Annie.
"Okay." Sherry looked at the list again. "Majorca?"
And so on...
That cuts out the need for either quotes or italics, as it's clear from the outset that Sherry is reading from a list, so the reader will work out that Turkey and Majorca are items from that list.
I hope that helps, though I should stress it is only the way I'd do it, and it's your story, so you're welcome to disagree with me.
I'd be interested to hear how other visitors to the blog would get around this problem.
Added: in the comments section, the Captain makes a valuable point about using italics for titles, for example Great Expectations. I hadn't thought to mention that in the context above, but I think it's an important point of clarification and one I'm glad the Captain raised.
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12 Comments - Thank you!:
Firstly the short, glib response: To get around the problem of MS Word not nesting quotes correctly - simply replace it with a decent piece of software. I gave up MSW years ago when it "got in my face" once too often.
Okay, rant over. Now to business. I try to use italics for emphasis on words but not much else. For example, if you know the character Joey from the sit-com Friends, then he puts emphasis on words, like: "That so isn't my motto," where the emphasis is on 'so'. You may have noticed that I put titles such as Friends in italics as well. I'm not sure if this is normal or if it's just a bad habit on my part.
Another time I've used italics in a big way is for speech where one half of it is on the other end of a radio. For example:
"Alpha whisky receiving, over."
"Sierra control. Go ahead, over."
"Request assistance at 32 Mercer Road, over."
"Understood. Assistance on its way. Over and out."
Again, I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. Other situations might be a character reading a letter to themselves (i.e. not out loud). I might put the letter text in italics for that situation. Otherwise I just stick to the classic nested-quotes technique:
"The barmaid said to me: 'Large or small?' and I told her 'large' of course," said the punter.
I always stick to straight quotes, not curved "sixes and nines" ones. I'll leave that for the type-setters when I get my publishing deal...
Being an editor, I have nothing against Italics (when used sparingly) and think you solved your 'list-reading' problem nicely this way. I would delete the question mark after the words on the list, though.
Sherry read from the list of possible holiday destinations.
"Turkey. It's nice and hot there this time of year. What do you think?" She looked at her group of friends as they sat huddled around the fire.
"I went there last year," said Annie.
"Okay." Sherry looked at the list again. "Majorca."
She announces the destinations, doesn't ask what the people think of them ... at least, that's how I read it here.
Sunnies,
Deborah
Good point about titles, Captain. I'll add that to the end of the Ask Sally. I wasn't really including them but it's wise to be clear about that.
Hi Deborah (waves across cyberspace). Thanks for your valuable input! I think the question mark is optional really, isn't it? As Sherry is sort of asking them where they fancy going. But I do take your point about it and think it works very well your way too.
PS May I be a pest, Sally? I notice you very kindly put a link to my site here, but that one is 'rather' dead, as is the book it was all about.
I can now be found at:
http://www.deborahrey.wordpress.com
No problem at all Deborah. Your wish is my command :-)
Thanks, Sally. The list was actually a list of names of people which had various accusations against them. I wanted to differentiate it so that it was obvious the person reading it allowed didn't necessarily agree with the contents. In the end I had to send it off quick because it's a Christmas story (called "The Christmas List"!!) so I left the italics but the input from everyone was interesting and reassuring. Together with Womagwriter's Blog this is a great site.
Thanks
xx
Thanks Kitty!
I'm sorry I didn't answer your query sooner, but real life has been infringing again this week. I hate it when that happens! ;-)
Good luck with the submission. Do let us know how you get on!
Really enjoying this useful site. Thanks.
I have a similar issue with an almost completed story, but I don't really want alter it as above.
The story starts quoting words that someone is writing in capitals (as a title) at the top of a notepad: "My Perfect Man". I don't want to use quotes around the words as she's not speaking them, but being a novice writer I'm not sure italics are appropriate.
I'd appreciate any advice.
Hi Alison,
Glad you're finding the blog useful. That's what I'm here for :-)
I'd say, given the scenario that you describe, italics are appropriate. I use italics if I'm showing something that someone has written, to denote the handwriting.
Or you could just put the list as so:
Good sense of humour
Kind
Thoughtful
without italics, but separating the list from the main narrative.
I hope that helps, but if anyone has any different ideas on how Alison can do this, do pitch in.
Thank you, Sally. I won't be scared to use italics for this now!
I have one more formatting question which I think fits in under this heading, which is how to handle a character’s direct thoughts. I have found mixed advice online.
I have two examples, with tags and without. To make things clear I have put the directly quoted thoughts in bold.
1/ Not again! Amy sighed, her heart sinking as...
2/ Maybe there is something in what Caroline said, she thought. It seems I may be lucky after all!
Should the thoughts be in italics, single/double quotes, or left as standard format?
Thanks, Alison
I'd say without italics, unless you're doing a fairly long 'thought' section, similar to a stream of consciousness. I don't use italics for thoughts, though I've seen it done to good effect.
To say 'Amy sighed' isn't really a tag as such as she's not speaking. It's just a description of her action.
But in your second example you move between third and first person, so for the last sentence, it might be better to put 'It seems she may be lucky after all.' But you need to be clear about which 'she' you're talking about, so perhaps use the name (Amy?) as you've also mentioned a Caroline and the reader might not work out which one is lucky, unless the context before and after makes it clear.
I hope that helps! Remember it is only my opinion so feel free to disagree (anyone).
Thanks for your help, Sally. I've been trawling through old mag stories to see how others have handled direct thoughts too.
Alison
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